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BuffyGuide.com — The Complete Buffy Episode Guide
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Kathy: I just wanted to make sure that we didn't have a thief or something.
Buffy: Like who? Sid the Wily Dairy Gnome?

Buffy: Kathy's nice and all, but she's sort of, I don't know, like, Mini-Mom of Momdonia.

Buffy: Wait. Did you just hear something?
Willow: I'm chewing my gum kinda loud.
Buffy: That's not it.
Willow: My sneakers are squeaky.
Buffy: I'm looking for something lurky here, Will.

Buffy: And what are we if not women up to a challenge?
Willow: Exactly. I mean, did we not put the 'grr' in 'girl'?

Buffy: Wish me monsters.

Buffy: Alright. Why don't you quit hiding and come out and face me like a ... thing.

Kathy: What the blizzard was that all about?

Buffy: Demon. Last night. Made with the pummeling, but he got away.

Buffy: Um, he had a cloak on, glowy green eyes, and his skin had that, like, that super bad fake rub-on tan.
Giles: Translate?
Buffy: Um, orangey?

Giles: You took your roommate patrolling with you?
Buffy: Well, I invited the whole dorm, but she was the only one who could make it.

Buffy: I know, it's probably just me having a bitch attack. But it's not ... me.

Parker: Ex-boyfriend or loan shark?
Buffy: Excuse me?
Parker: The person you're hiding from.
Buffy: Oh. Both. Ugly break-up.

Buffy: Not that I mind, but don't non-college guys usually populate the non-campus?

Kathy: Eww! Who left their gum here?
Buffy: Gum-gnome?
Kathy: It wasn't me. It had to be somebody, Buffy!
Buffy: And the worst part: I wake up and there's Kathy staring at me like I'm some kind of freak.
Oz: Well, actually, the worst part, I'd have to go with the demon pouring the blood down your throat.
Willow: Me too. I would vote for that, too.

Willow: He's our grown-up friend. Not in a creepy way.

Kathy: Hmm. Sounds like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
Buffy: And guess what? You were next to it!

Buffy: Cool. You guys can do the brain thing. I'm gonna go to class.
Oz: Which could also be construed as the brain thing.
Buffy: Not when you're minoring in Napping 101.

Willow: Ok, so that was the evil twin right? Cuz she was bordering on Cordelia-esque.

Kathy: You're problem is, you're spoiled. Maybe the world revolved around you where you used to live, but it's share-time now!

Oz: Well, I'm not saying we'll braid each other's hair. Probably, but, you know, I can hang with her, watch for signs she's going over the edge.

Buffy: So then she's like, 'It's share-time.' And I'm like, 'Oh yeah? Share this!' (Buffy punches the air a few times.)
Oz: So either you hit her or you did your wacky mime routine for her.
Buffy: Well, I didn't do either, actually. But she deserved it, don't ya think?
Oz: Nobody deserves mime, Buffy.
Buffy: Kathy does. She deserves to be locked in an invisible box and blown away by an imaginary wind, and —
Oz: Forced to wear a binding unitard?
Buffy: Yeah, the itchy kind! It's perfect!

Buffy: She's the Titanic! She's a crawling black cancer! (Buffy kicks out and breaks a nearby bench.) She's ... other really bad things!
Oz: Well, on the plus side you killed the bench, which was looking shifty.

Buffy: Kathy's evil. I'm an evil fighter. It's simple. I'm gonna have to kill her.

Willow: Toenails?
Buffy: Evil toenails. I took them off the floor last night when she was in the bathroom. She thought I was asleep.
Willow: Good thinking, cuz in the middle of the night those toenails could have attacked you and left little half-moon marks all over your body.
Buffy: Don't be ridiculous. The point is, I measured them before I fell asleep, and again this morning. And they grew! After they were cut! That's a demon thing. She has to be eliminated.
Willow: Of course. It makes sense now. But, you better show those bad puppies to Giles, before you do anything, just to be sure.
Buffy: Oh, absolutely! I wouldn't wanna do anything crazy!

Willow: Giles. I just talked to Buffy and, yeah, I think she's feeling a little crazy. No, not bitchy crazy, more like homicidal maniac crazy. So I told her to come see you, kay?

Buffy: She irons her jeans. She's evil.

Xander: Why couldn't Giles have shackles like any self-respecting bachelor?

Kathy's Demon Parent: [In demon language] Don't take that tone with me.
Kathy: [In demon language] I'm 3000 years old! When are you going to stop treating me like I'm 900?

 
 
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