Dawn: There's a girl at school told me that gelatin is made from ground-up cow's feet, and that if you eat Jell-O, there's some cow out there limping with no feet. But, I told her I'm sure they kill 'em before they take off their feet. Right?
Buffy (to Joyce): You're the one who insisted on teaching her to talk.

Xander: Human chest! Human chest!
Giles: Uh, sorry!

Willow (about Riley): Oh piffle, who needs him when I'm dusting two at a ti— (she almost collapses) Whoops.

Willow: Oh, I feel just like Santa Claus... except thinner, and younger, and... female. And, well... Jewish.

Buffy (about Dawn): You got her a book on spells? The girl who can break things by just looking at them, now has a book to teach her to... break things by lookin' at 'em?

Buffy: Homework? Unh. I don't believe in tiny Jewish Santa anymore.

Joyce: I'd rip it half and stick in bed with me!

Crazy Guy: What is that thing? The-there's... no data. The-there's no pictures on this one. There! What is the data? There's no one in there.
Dawn (scared): Buffy?

Willow: You know what's weird?
Tara: Japanese commercials are weird.

Willow: That's Canis Minor, and Cassiopeia.
Tara: And the big pineapple.
Willow: Um, you know I'm not sure I remember that one.

Joyce: I bet it's not even hooked up to anything. Just like the push-buttons at the cross walk that are supposed to make the signal change.
Buffy: I'm sure someone's on— wait, the push-buttons aren't hooked up to anything?

Riley: That might be toxic, don't touch it.
Xander: Oh yeah, touching it was my first impulse. Luckily I've moved on to my second, which involves dry-heaving, and running like hell.

Buffy: Mom, what are you doing?
Joyce (angrily): I'm making breakfast. You shouldn't eat anymore, you're disgustingly fat!

Joyce: Don't touch me! You- you thing!
Dawn: Mom? Please!
Joyce: Get away from me! You're nothing! You're- you're a shadow! I don't what you are; how you got here!

Xander: I still don't get why we had to come here to get info about a killer snot monster.
Giles: Because it's a killer snot monster from outer space. (pause) I did not say that.

Xander: Meteor go boom, crazy guy goes bye-bye.

Joyce: I wish that someone had bothered to tell me that there would be tennis being played. I just didn't know. Those eyes! Those eyes; they're like gasoline puddles! Tell me. Tell me because I need to know, why, why are you staring at me like that?

Joyce: Does someone know you're here, because they should have told you that at the gate, you're not supposed to be here! I need to rest now. I don't like the way you're staring at me! Did they tell you that at the gate? Stop staring at me, I don't like it!

Buffy: What the hell are you doing in my house?
Spike: Right then. Caught me. You're basement's full of junk, and me being in need of, uh, junk—
Buffy: You were stealing?
Spike: Well, yeah. Can't exactly work the counter at a burger bar now, can I?
Buffy: Wait. Are those pictures of me?

Spike (pointedly, to Riley): You just missed a real nice time.

Dreg: Sir forgive me. I just want to understand. Why summon the Queller?
Ben: What do you think? Because I'm cleaning up Glory's mess. Just like I've done my whole damn life.

Joyce: Buffy, I wanna ask you something. And if I'm-- if I'm being crazy, you just tell me, okay?
Buffy: You got it.
Joyce: The other day... well, actually, I'm, I'm not sure when, the days seem to all bleed together...
Buffy: It's not important.
Joyce: No, I guess it isn't. I do know I was pretty out of it... and I had... not-not a dream... exactly, more like I had this... knowledge. It just came to me like... truth, you know? Even though it didn't seem possible... even though I shouldn't even think such things.
Buffy: What?
Joyce: That Dawn... she's not mine, is she?
Buffy (after long pause): No.
Joyce (after another pause): She's... she does belong to us though?
Buffy: Yes she does.
Joyce: And she's important. To the world. Precious? As precious as you are to me?
(Buffy nods.)
Joyce: Then we have to take care of her. Buffy, promise me. If anything happens, if I don't through this—
Buffy: Mom.
Joyce: No, listen to me. No matter what she is, she still feels like my daughter. I have to know that you'll take care of her. That you'll keep her safe. That you'll love her like I love you.
Buffy (crying): I promise.